Little bits of nonsense

Three little artworks on the studio wall

High time I showed something of what I’ve been up to. In essence, lots of messing about without stern objective or excessive critique. Lovely, I recommend it!

Left to right:

A paper chain – each link the strip torn off a teabag packet. Needle and thread still attached ready to add with the next cup. This is fun in itself and I expect it to become part of something else.

A collage of ATM receipts, teabag paper and tags, found knitwear scrap and painted papers. Türkiye Garanti Bankası receipts are my favourite, with their reverse print of something like a four-leafed clover.

A hanging lamp crafted from a fine plastic bag, the frame some found wire. I brought the strip of LEDs from home, they reflect on streamers of chopped up tea packet- cerise & silver foil.

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Not home; alone

Today was awful.

Some interesting things are starting to happen in my studio, as the collection of found objects comes to critical mass. And I’m delighted with my dear little house.

Picture of front of house taken from teras, through apple tree branches.

But today was awful.

  • Everything I’ve done is unsatisfactory, to say the least.
  • I’m a third through my time, Turkish is not improving, Yoga barely happening.
  • I’m over-spent against my plan. Not badly, but…
  • I’ve totally lost touch with my Big Idea and I cannot see how to

Feeling like everything I hoped for, dreamed of for this trip, is beyond my reach. And that it’s My Own Fault. That I’m All Talk & No Action. That I’ve Spoiled It.

That I FAIL

If you’d walked through Güvercinlik Vadisi this afternoon you would have found me sobbing beside the trail.

I think it’s just loneliness, homesickness, adjustment. I’ve gone early to bed (warm, comfy) with a chocolate bar! sharing with you that not all days are perfect but no doubt this is a temporary feeling.

Thanks for listening.

Reflecting

Merhaba!

I’ve brought a few tools (needles, scissors, pliers) and a little handful of threads. Every other material must be found.

Here I’m patching together SHINY teabag packets. This in response to realising that my darling little stone house has no mirror to a check how fabulous i look each morning. A totally non-functional activity probably deserves a totally non-functional artwork.

Quite a few of the rubbishy things I’ve been gathering are shiny. I’m a magpie from way back! This is a fun way to use them for once.

There’s nothing like a change of location and lifestyle to bring to mind how much is automatic. I have no idea what will come out of this and most days that’s ok.

KNOWING / notKNOWING

Hey, you friends and readers who are older than me. Younger people too probably. A question.

How do you KNOW?

You all seem to know your own hearts, your own desires. To have gained or found or created your peace and confidence with who you are and where you’re going.

Maybe you think that’s true of me too.

Afraid not. I remember realising on my 25th birthday that I had never imagined being older than 24. In the 20+ years that have passed, I have only rarely felt that I knew simply and wholeheartedly who I am, and where I want to be.

There are really good things about this.

I believe I’ve thought more about what matters, about who I admire and why, more about my choices, than if I had an autopilot managing my course. I’ve felt more deeply each decision that comes my way. I like to think I’ve been more open to hear others’ thoughts and ideas.

I’ve come to be comfortable with that uncertainty. Maybe I do KNOW.
Maybe I’m The Woman Who Makes It Up As She Goes Along And It Works Out Just Fine.

Reflection | noitcelfeR

Chicago Millennium Park- Anish Kapoor’s “Cloud Gate” aka the Bean- reflecting completely, imperfectly, adjusting identity.

Where am I?
Is that me? Wave, gesture, adopt a strange pose, identify myself. Take a photograph.
Move closer, more naturally, softly. Take another photograph.
Come closer still, look into my own eyes.Take another photograph.
Bring my flesh hand up to meet the hand of the other me. Touch. Pause. Engage. Laugh
Everyone was comfortable seeing themselves in this mirror. Perhaps the sheer scale, where noone could ‘look fat’. Perhaps the distortion of curvature released us from the perfect image.
The innocent delight and joy of visitors, the gradient from disbelief to engagement, like the bean itself, another curve to navigate. Strangers clustered closely together under the arch, openly borrowing each other – person and image – for context and orientation.

And tonight, a musical accompaniment. The Benjamin Britten War Requiem performed live, nearby, outdoors. As I walked around the Bean, we experienced perfect but subtly distorted surround sound, courtesy of the echo-reflections of nearby buildings.

I like to think this is a rehearsal for how we will experience our first alien visitors – astonished, delighted, fearless, engaged.